Five Nights At Freddy’s Movie Is Frighteningly Unscary

Yikes! Is it Springtrap or Winnie The Pooh?

Towards the end of the Five Nights at Freddy’s movie, our protagonist is stabbed by an old man dressed in a fat Winnie The Pooh costume. That’s the climax of this highly anticipated horror movie.

Yes, I did just start with a movie spoiler because we don’t believe in being spoiler-free. Here’s your chance to run away if you do not want this movie to be spoiled because you haven’t seen it yet.

Five Nights at Freddy’s or FNAF for short is currently in movie theatres but can be streamed from the comfort of your home if you’re subscribed to the Peacock streaming service which runs for $5.99 plus tax monthly.

Rotten Tomatoes versus FNAF Cult, it’s a Blood Bath

Rotten Tomatoes critics’ score has gone up due to some being lenient and understanding that this movie was “a love letter” to the fans, but it has sent FNAF fans bursting into flames.

The first Five Nights at Freddy’s video game debuted on Aug 18, 2014, and has a cult following that you could never imagine. They’ve spent countless hours exploring the lore behind every single game release, book release, and everything else. This movie could’ve been the animatronics spinning around and singing and they would call this movie amazing. Why? Because they finally get to see something they hold so dearly come to the big screen and then have the critics tear their movie apart.
Yeah, it’s emotional.

They’re Called Movie Critics For A Reason

Here’s a bombshell. The whole point of being a movie critic is to critique movies. A crazy concept that is hard for many to accept and understand. They watch the movie and grade it with key points such as cinematography, story, music, and other key factors to generate a score. They are not required to do research before viewing the movie.

Sometimes their score is in your favor, but most of the time it is not. It is what it is. That is why you should always watch the movie and not depend on the critics and not even the audience on what is a good movie and what is not.

The only thing that speaks at the end of the day is how much money came in and Five Nights at Freddy’s is doing extremely well. Kudos to the fans.

The Five Nights At Freddy’s Movie is a Snoozefest

I’ve played the Five Nights at Freddy’s games, know about the books, have watched and read all of the theories, and love the lore of FNAF. The lore is nonsensical, but fun. The Five Nights at Freddy’s movie doesn’t seem to fit in its universe.

They have the characters and the look, but there wasn’t a mood present throughout the film. Five Nights at Freddy is considered horror, but it isn’t your typical horror full of blood and guts. It is a nerve-wracking anxiety type of horror, due to keeping yourself safe from the animatronics.

Five Nights at Freddy’s is a “gateway” horror movie

— every person trying to explain why this film lacks in horror

Sure, we can go along with that let’s also add that the movie has a PG-13 rating. It wants to appeal to the general audience and keep it “kid-friendly”.

Sorry, an episode of Goosebumps is scary and more thought-out than this movie that took 8 years to be released. Why? Scott Cawthorn was there to guide and assist, but it doesn’t seem that helped as production “grilled” MatPat about the world of FNaF.

The Boogeyman is PG-13 and delivered more than Five Nights at Freddy and they didn’t have cool animatronics made by the Jim Henson’s Creature Shop.

I’m sorry to break it to you, but there are movies with a PG-13 rating that are horror movies but are scary. The only thing scary about the FNAF movie is how much time it wasted doing absolutely nothing.

Here’s The FNAF Movie Summed Up

The homie Mike has to take care of his kid sister since they lost their parents, but his aunt doesn’t think he is fit to be the guardian. Mike’s younger brother Garrett was abducted years prior so he feels he has to keep his sister safe, but Garrett’s abduction still haunts him. He uses his dreams to go back to the time it happened and each time he goes back in his dreams something new happens which is supposed to get him closer to finding out who took his little brother.

In the real world, Mike is not only fighting this custody battle with his aunt who smells like cigarettes according to him and his kid sister Abby, but he needs a job so he meets with the older dude and he hires him to be a security guard at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza, because an abandoned pizza place needs to be defended, but maybe because it sure is popular even though it is closed!

Mike sleeps a lot and never seems to shower as he always looks grimy, but all of a sudden a nice pretty woman named Vanessa appears and she verbally gives Mike the full Wikipedia on the place where he works which is good because all he does is sleep and not talk much.

We find out that the babysitter who watches Abby for Mike while he is away isn’t getting paid and is working with the “evil” aunt. The babysitter and her boyfriend decide to work with Mike’s aunt because they want money. They decide that they’re going to break into Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza place and break a bunch of stuff to jeopardize Mike’s employment which will surely give the aunt the upper hand in their custody battle.

All of sudden the animatronics appear and decide to take matters into their own hands, killing the babysitter, her boyfriend, and the rest of the goons that dare enter their pizza place.

Some other stuff happens that doesn’t even matter, but we end up with finding out that Mike’s kid brother, Garrett was taken by William Afton or Steve Raglan in this movie and that Vanessa known as Vanny to FNaF fans is William/Steve’s daughter and she aided him in offing children and stuffing them into animatronics.

William stabs Vanessa because she’s trying to stop him from killing Mike, but then the animatronics turn on William and he screams the famous “I’ll be back I always come back” line. Everyone is fine, everything is great, they visit Vanessa in the hospital then you get some lame end-credit scenes and that’s it.

Yeah, This Ain’t It

I didn’t put every single detail because a lot of it isn’t necessary. My complaint about the movie is that they set up things for fan service and it wasn’t even good fan service.

• The generic horror sound when Balloon Boy is spotted is worthless because it is a toy. It does nothing in the film there’s no reason to gasp.

• Winnie the Pooh aka Springtrap just randomly appears in Mike’s home kills the evil aunt and then he and Abby catch a cab to Freddy Fazbear’s pizza. Okay, he can just magically appear inside someone’s house, but needs a ride to this pizza place.

• Are we supposed to be scared of the animatronics? I couldn’t tell. They were super friendly, hanging out, taking cab rides, and no one bats an eye. This is completely normal.

Speaking of normal, are there any background people in this movie? For a place that at one point had a popular entertainment center, it comes off as isolated.

Vanessa — I have always had an issue with Vanessa, but definitely in the Five Nights at Freddy’s movie, she’s a “cop”, but she comes off as a weird robot that is pretending to be a cop that has nothing to do but talk about Freddy Fazbear’s pizza. I guess there’s no crime happening, paperwork to process, or even laundry to do because she’s always just there.

Note: I have issues with Vanessa/Vanny because she doesn’t seem to add much to the FNaF universe. To me, she is just an attractive female made to bring more people in. Nothing wrong with that, but I’m tired of her just being pasted into things that make no sense.

• Abby is a weirdo and is destined to be Baby it is obvious, especially when she is all I miss my friends and being the responsible legal guardian since the evil aunt is dead Mike decides to take her to Freddy’s despite all that happened.

Overall, the Five Nights at Freddy’s Movie, FNAF Movie is perfect as a made-for-TV movie.

I highly suggest you watch it and see if you like, love, dislike, or hate this movie.

I’ll stick to watching YouTubers going over the FNAF lore or playing the games. That’s more fun than what Blumhouse published.

What did you think about the Five Nights at Freddy’s movie? Let us know on Twitter or Threads, @nerdsleaze on both platforms.